Being "In the Moment" On Your Wedding Day | JayLee M.O.

Most of us know what that “auto-pilot zone” feels like in day-to-day life. We do what we need to. We drive where we need to drive. We do the laundry. We cook dinner. We accidentally read 5 pages of our book before realizing we didn’t really read five pages of our book. There are so many times during the day that we are not really “present”. Our minds are elsewhere, or we are so focused on the task at hand that we aren’t really enjoying that very moment. It sound cheesy, but it is ultimately true if you want to lead a happy life… you should try to enjoy the process of going after a goal as much as you will enjoy accomplishing it.

For that reason, I believe that when it comes to big events in life, we should be ready. We should enjoy the moments leading up to the bigger moment (in this case, the planning process and being engaged) as much as we will enjoy getting married. On the day of the wedding, we should be fully immersing ourselves in the joy of each second of that day. Wedding days go by really quickly…. everyone says it, because it’s true! Here are a few tips on staying present and in the moment on your wedding day (and maybe they can apply to other areas of your life as well)!

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1. Stop Worrying…. and for goodness sakes, forget about the details and decor and all that stuff. From the second you start getting ready to when the wedding is over, you should be fully enjoying yourself and focusing on every moment as it is happening. Whether you spent a year planning this event, or you are eloping, wedding stress is a pretty normal feeling. Maybe you are jittery about walking down the aisle, or saying “I Do”…maybe you are worried about your family flying in to town safely, the DJ showing up on time, or the decorations being put up (correctly) without a hitch. With the many details that can be involved in such an event, worry and stress tend to be the first go-to feelings.

So, the week up to the wedding, here is your task: Stop. Yup. That’s it. Just stop. Stop worrying. Stop taking everything on yourself. Delegate the details. Let the sweet feeling of anticipation and marrying the love of your life wash over you instead. Prepare yourself for the morning you wake up, happy, calm, and ready to have an awesome day with the people/person you love most in your life. To remain present and open to enjoying things as they happen, you have to let go of all of the extraneous details. Your job is to take care of yourself, stay healthy, and be ready for the day you worked so hard to put together. Things don’t have to be perfect. (Did my saying that just make you worry? Oops.) They really don’t. When it’s all said and done, as long as the paper is signed (if applicable) and the rings are on your fingers, and you pronounced to your love that you want to spend your life with them…things went perfectly.

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2. Remember What It’s About. Let’s state the obvious really quickly. Sometimes soon-to-be-newlyweds need this: It’s about the marriage, not the wedding.  Before a ring was put on your finger, you were just two kids in love.  Now, you’re planning a big party to celebrate that very fact. That’s it. It’s about the love. The flowers, the dresses and tuxes, the music, the venue, the little candles, the this and the that….it’s just stuff to celebrate the love. You deserve a day that makes you happy…yes. Totally. Mostly, it is our hope that you are just really jazzed about marrying future Mr. or Mrs. Awesome. If you remember what the day is about, take a deep breath, and focus in on them, a lot of your stress will subside.

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3. Take It All In. There is a lot that goes on during the wedding day, and it all revolves around you. Everyone is visiting and showing up to this event for you two. If you cross the street in your wedding dress, strangers faces will light up. They will tell you how beautiful you are, wishing you congratulations and complimenting your dress. The men will be complimented for looking so dashing and put together. All day you will be hugged, you will shake people’s hands, you will be given “good lucks” and “good jobs” and “we love you’s”. You will be surrounded by the people you love the most. They will be not-so-sneakily sneaking photos of your every move as they ooh-and-ahh at your fancy-ness. If all goes well, the wedding will be set up (close to) how you want it, the music playing will be music you chose and enjoy, and all you have to do is show up and smile and take it all in. So do that. Everyone is there to support you and celebrate with you. Try to take a good look at every piece of your day and soak it all in. The point is to enjoy this time in your life. Don’t think about the future or the fact that your house is still not quite ready or your honeymoon clothes are not packed. Don’t even think about listening when people ask how many kids you’re going to have and when you’re going to have them (seriously people…just enjoy today!).

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4. Connect + Feel Everything. Wedding days are extra awesome because they give you the opportunity to be around people you like. You made the guest list, so these are people you like enough that you invited them to be there on one of the biggest days of your life. Pay attention to those special moments: Your mom helping you button up your gown; your bridesmaids fixing your veil and laughing as they put on their makeup; your dad straightening your tie; your groomsmen sneaking you a swig from their hidden flask. Have a sweet moment with your spouse-to-be during the first look. Be yourself in front of the camera (so you have genuine looking photos post-wedding). Watch the flower girls sprinkle petals and your wedding party going down the aisle (feel the anticipation!). Hold on tight as you are walked down the aisle. Lock eyes with your future husband/wife before they reach the alter. Listen hard as the officiant reads special words to your family and friends. Feel the prayers/sentiments deeply. Focus on each other as your vows are being read. Enjoy your first married kiss (how cool is that?!) and skip with joy down the aisle. Eat. Seriously, be sure to eat. Hug everyone. Have another cupcake. Tell everyone thanks for coming and mean it. Dance, if you want to. Make sure to spend time with your partner, too. See…the night is almost over. Already.

It zips by. So, good thing you enjoyed the heck out of it! Your wedding will allow you to feel the full range of emotions in a short period of time. Grown men will cry. Mr. Tough husband may even cry. Your bridesmaids will make you laugh. Your weird uncle will embarrass you. Your families will bond and spend time together. Your groomsmen will say something inappropriate in his speech. You will smile giddily at your “husband/wife” and the fact you can call them that now will make you all weird and bouncey. You will quickly go from melancholy to sappy to lovey to ridiculously happy and tired. Things may not be just as you expected. Some things could go “wrong”. But, it will be a really, really good day (and you’ll have awesome photos to remember it by…wink wink). //Ali + Josh

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